Tuesday, 18 September 2012 21:26

Married Life and the "Why" of Behavior

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Cultivating a marriage that sings the glory of God begins with God.  Relational dynamics, spousal roles, communication patterns, families of origin, financial peace, and sexual fulfillment are all working variables in the covenantal relationship called marriage, but they are not the final contexts in which marriages develop nor are they the causal core of why individuals in marriage relate the way they do. 


To locate the final context in which relationships develop, we may consider the words of the psalmist, “Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations.  Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God” (Psalm 90:1-2).   Our context is always and forever, God.  He is literally our dwelling place.  There is not a moment of a person’s earthly existence where this is not the case.  So, as spouses relate to one another, they do so in the consuming presence of the Lord of Scripture. 

A second aspect of marriage important to consider is the causal core or the “why” of human behavior.  What causes people to behave they way they do?  To answer this, we consider the words of Jesus, “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.  For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander” (Matthew 15:18-19).  According to Jesus, people say and behave based on what is going on in their hearts.

These two realities converge every waking moment of the day:  God serving as the dwelling place and context of human existence and human hearts that direct and shape human motivation.  The dynamic that emerges from these simultaneous absolutes is best captured in the word “worship”.   Marriage is about two active hearts, functioning before a holy God, that are perpetually driven by desires that serve Him or oppose Him.   Therefore, marital healing and transformation begins and ends with God. 

Read 4298 times Last modified on Tuesday, 18 September 2012 21:31
Jeremy Lelek

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